The Family Constellation Within Us

Within each one of us is a family constellation, mother, father, and child.  We are all members of our own family, and when the members are communicating with each other, respecting each other and loving each other, we are free to love ourselves.  The father in us protects and provides, the mother in us nurtures and creates, and the child (the integration of the parents) accepts, forgives and loves unconditionally.   Some believe that an imbalance in our father/mother aspects is what creates duality, or opposition in our lives.  Because each opposing side has the seed of the other side (sickness the seed of health, hate the seed of love, sorrow the seed of joy), finding ourselves in opposition is simply a reflection of this imbalance, and an invitation to restore balance by recognizing both aspects within us equally, thus giving birth to the child, and unconditionality (nonduality).

With the divine feminine and masculine in balance, the human self becomes and feels healed, whole, and complete.  The harmonized human is one who has integrated, feels, and experiences the divine aspects of its true identity --- that of its attached divine, eternal, God-created soul with its Spark of God Within --- into its human self. 

Our physical bodies reflect this model with our right and left polarity physiology.  Several holistic medical models across the globe that are widely used today are based on the interplay of polarity.  Left and right brain function,  Polarity Therapy,  Acupuncture, Naturopathy and the Chiropractic premise of Innate intelligence are just a few.  In the Shamanic tradition, the archetypal wisdom of the inner landscape is paramount to understanding the wisdom of the soul. For when we begin to conceptualize the inner marriage of the masculine and feminine within, we begin to work in concert with the energetic laws of nature. What emerges is the essence of our true harmony, which, in the Shamanic tradition, mirrors where our personality (male) is in relationship to our soul’s (female) journey.

Why is it important for us to consider these things?  Now more than ever we are barraged with stressors and data that distract us, confuse us, outrage us and pull us off balance.  We have a struggling global economy, constantly changing technology, and medical and scientific paradigms shifting in ways that challenge everything we have ever been taught.  These worldly influences change our workplace, our family dynamics, our relationships, our daily routines and our ability to think and feel our way through our days.  Taking the time to contemplate the depth and simplicity of our own inner nature can be a spontaneous life changer.

Joseph Campbell tells us:  “A ritual is the enactment of a myth. And, by participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth wisdom of the psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are being, as it were, put in accord with that wisdom, which is the wisdom that is inherent within you anyhow. Your consciousness is being re-minded of the wisdom of your own life.” Consider the Osiris/Isis/Horus within you.  If you look, the father/mother/child constellation can be found in every mythological tradition.  But the best place to find it is within you. Create your own myth of reconciling opposites and creating trinity. 

What do YOU think?

Artwork by Sacha.  Many thanks.

Our Second Chance to Play, Parenthood

"By helping this child to grow into a beautiful human being, into a buddha, you will be becoming the mother of a buddha. You will not be obliging the child: you will be simply enjoying your own life; your own life will become a fragrance through the child.This is an opportunity, a God-given opportunity.

And these are the two pitfalls: either you neglect the child, you are tired of it; or you become too serious about the child, and you start burdening him, obliging him.

Both are wrong. Help the child – but for the sheer joy of it. And never feel that he owes any debt to you. On the contrary, feel thankful that he has chosen you to be his mother. Let your motherhood bloom through him.If you can bloom into your motherhood, you will feel thankful to the child forever.And, naturally, there will be sacrifices, but they have to be made…joyously. Only then is it a sacrifice! If you do it without joy it is not sacrifice. Sacrifice comes from the word sacred. When you do it joyfully, it is sacred. When you don’t do it joyfully, then you are just fulfilling a duty – and all duties are ugly, they are not sacred. This is a great opportunity. Meditate over it, go into it deeply. You will never find such a deep involvement – in fact, there is none as it is between a child and the mother. Not even between the husband and the wife, the lover and the beloved – the involvement is not so deep as it is between the mother and the child. It cannot be so deep with anybody ever – because the child has lived in you for nine months as you; nobody else can live in you for nine months as you.And the child will become a separate individual sooner or later, but somewhere deep down in the unconscious the mother and the child remain linked.If your child can become a buddha, you will be benefited by it; if your child grows and becomes a beautiful human being, you will be benefited by it – because the child will always remain connected with you. Only the physical connection has been disconnected; the spiritual connection is never disconnected.

Thank God! Motherhood is a blessing.” Osho

The Best Christmas Present: Presence

The beginning of the New Year is traditionally a time of renewal and reassessment.  For some of us that goes deeper than boxing up old things to make way for the new, or wrapping up financial figures to prepare our taxes and budget the upcoming year.  Taking a step back to witness ourselves, who we are, and how we relate, is also in order.  From the position of the witness, I can see a faceted triad of self - my self-image: my mental self portrait; my identity: the part of self formed in relation to others; and my presence: the dynamic, infinite self connecting the internal and external, beyond form yet recognizing forms such as thought and feeling as they arise and all other complexities of self that identity and self image assign.  All parts of the triad are developmentally important to me, all integral to who I am.

As I contemplate this triad, I consider that self image and identity can, but don’t always, give way to doubt.  Presence does not.  Presence unifies.  It does not hold me in separation of anyone or any event or any time because there is a flow in presence that unites the many and One.  When I view myself from the position of presence, there is no need to place a value on one aspect over another because all is experienced as constant, unified flow.  From the position of my self-image or identity, I find myself assigning values of good, bad, true, untrue, self, not self…and in a reassessment, doubt may arise – did “I” make a mistake?

Another observation is that the relationship between cause and effect changes when I witness myself from the position of presence.  Internal cause from the dynamic presence takes precedence, and external cause, like that from my worldly experience, others or even my own mental constructs of self image, become the effect.  My world does not change me, I change my world by changing my view to that of presence.  My DNA does not define me from birth, but changes as my consciousness changes.

It must be said that this is nothing new.  Mystics as old as written history have relayed these ideas to us.  They can be found it all the sacred texts.  But as I enter the New Year 2011, I feel an infinite gratitude, for entering in presence, surrounded by people that read what I write here, and enter with me, a large part of my smile.

What do YOU think?

Artwork by Alejandro Silveira Bruno.  Many thanks.

The Jon Stewart Concerted Effort to Restore Sanity

Last weekend, Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity drew millions of participants in cities all over the world while Stewart himself, led the effort in Washington DC with a few hundred thousand in attendance, asking everyone to “take it down a notch for America.”  He did so with the hope for an end to the partisan bickering and oppositional rhetoric that prevents collaboration necessary for the efficacy and success of the nation.

Stewart’s colleague, Steven Colbert, provided the counterpoint with his “Rally to Restore Fear,” providing the comic (if not juvenile) relief.  Stewart’s closing remarks were a plea for prevailing sanity:  “This was not a rally to ridicule people of faith or people of activism or to look down our noses at the heartland or passionate argument or to suggest that times are not difficult and that we have nothing to fear.  They are and we do.  But we live now in hard times, not end times.  And we can have animus and not be enemies. .. If we amplify everything we hear nothing. “

Fear is the core issue behind violence, jealousy, bigotry, anger, depression, greed, hatred, lies, insecurity or obsessive worry, just to name a few. When fear is managed it is a vital, effective life saving response which is critical to self preservation.  It is vitally important to discern what appropriate and inappropriate fear is, as well managed fear can and will protect us, and unmanaged fear can destroy us.

What is our tendency to seek experience that amplifies our emotion, especially fear?  Why do we keep feeding this tendency while knowing that it takes us beyond the parameters of sanity?

Sociologist  Tim Hallett of Indiana University  asks: “How does an inkling of anger develop into a blind rage?  How does a little happiness evolve into bliss?...I argue that interaction serves both as a stimulus to evoke emotional responses, and as a conduit for emotional feedback and amplification. ” Emotional interactions left unmanaged seek the further interaction needed for further arousal and emotional amplification.  What becomes unmanaged emotion blinds us from possibility, and takes us beyond sane mental states.  In the words of Jon Stewart, “Sanity will always be and has always been in the eye of the beholder.  To see you here today and the kind of people that you are has restored mine.  Thank you."

Why do we succumb to self seeking insanity?  How do we resolve the conflicting, amplified emotions within us to restore sanity?

What do YOU think?

Osho: Root Your Love in Being

What do YOU think?

What do we do? What do we do?

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Merriam-Webster defines the word “do” as ways we act, behave, get alone, fare, manage, happen, finish and serve, among others.  Often our actions require our ability to rationally ascertain the context of our actions, the possible consequences of our actions and the ethics of our actions before we do anything.  Or do they?  Our actions, I think, like our words, are very clear indications of our state of mind.  Sociopaths would act differently than saints in the same circumstances, because they bring to the moment, a different frame of reference, different viewpoint and different foundation for action.

There are psychologies to both doing and doing nothing.   Yes, there are rational-emotional models of the factors that predispose humans to do nothing.   And there are theories of the psychology of action, which take into account reasoning abilities, emotion, attitude and other factors.

When our belief system holds God and Divine Action, our state of mind is very different than states that do not hold that belief, and our actions may reflect these differences.  To understand and bridge these differences, The Vatican Observatory (VO) and the Center for Theology and Natural Sciences (CTNS) jointly sponsor a series of conferences on divine action. The theme of each conference is an area of the natural sciences: quantum cosmology and the laws of nature (1992), chaos and complexity (1994), evolutionary and molecular biology (1996), neuroscience (1998), and quantum mechanics (2000). This brings specificity and precision to the discussions of divine action. In one of the papers from these conferences, along with summaries of many others, is posted on the CTNS website:  In “The Metaphysics of Divine Action,” John Polkinghorne notes that any discussion of agency requires the adoption of a metaphysical view of the nature of reality. He claims that there is no “deductive” way of going “from epistemology to ontology,” but the strategy of critical realism is to maximize the connection. This leads most physicists, he claims, to interpret Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle as implying an actual indeterminacy in the physical world, rather than an ignorance of its detailed workings.  Polkinghorne’s summary on the nature of Divine Action includes the insight that divine agency has its own special characteristics and that God’s knowledge of the world of becoming will be truly temporal in character.

In his book, Religion in late Modernity   Robert C. Neville,  suggests that these inquires  “concerning divine action takes its rise from people who affirm as a supposition the belief that God is a personal being of some sort.”

In A Search for God In Ancient Egypt, by Jan Assmann, divine action and religious experience are part of the cosmic dimension of the mystic experience.  Here, divine action is implicit in all contact with the divine once transcendence into Divine Presence has been realized.  In other words, our actions become Divine Action, while in the presence of the One within.

To Bernard de Clairvaux, mysticism is the highest degree of the scale of love and “a perfect participation in the love which God has from Himself in the unity of the Spirit…to become thus is to be deified.”  Our actions are naturally inspired from this unity of the Spirit that pervades our state.

This idea is similar to the mystical divine action, our own action, taken as a result of our mystical union with the God with us.  The mystic Jan Ruysbroeck suggests in mystical union God “breathes us out from Himself that we may love and do good works; and again he draws us into Himself, that we may rest in fruition.”

Our efficacy and actions then, may be defined by whether or not we believe in God, and if we believe that God is external and personal, or a state of being within ourselves.  What do YOU think?

Artwork by Beth Nash.  Many thanks.

The Meaning of Love

What is love? What does it mean in our lives? We all seem to come to our own understanding of love as we mature into adulthood, and that understanding changes and evolves as we do, so what does it mean to you right now?

The Greeks broke love down for us into categories: Eros, or sexual love; Philios, or love of friends, love in return for love; Agape, or unconditional love, the love of God for humanity.

Then there is the idea that love is intertwined with death. Andre Breton, in The Lost Steps tells us, “Pardon me for thinking that, unlike ivy, I die when I become attached.” And Albert Camus: “Love demands the impossible, the absolute, the sky on fire, inexhaustible springtime, life after death, and death itself transfigured into eternal life.”

What do YOU think?

Morality as Harmonic Chord

"Love thy neighbor as thyself" or the golden rule, can be found with
slight variations throughout philosophy and religion, here are a few:

Judaism: “…thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”, Leviticus 19:18

Islam: “None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.” Number 13 of Imam “Al-Nawawi’s Forty Hadiths.”

Native American Spirituality: “All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One.” Black Elk

Shinto: “The heart of the person before you is a mirror. See there your own form”

Confucianism: “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you” Analects 15:23

Why is this important? Why is morality essential to the fabric of our lives? It prescribes consistency and allows our actions to be in harmony with our desires. It provides an internal compass that we can use to navigate society. How we apply the golden rule, or how we are able to treat others the way we ourselves would like to be treated, tests our moral coherence.

What do YOU think?

The Keyless Entry of Self Image

Self-image is the personal view we have of ourselves. It is our mental image or self portrait. Self-image is an internal dictionary that describes the characteristics of the self, including concepts like intelligence, beauty, kindness, selfishness or insensitivity. These characteristics form a collective representation of our assets and liabilities as we see them. Relationships reinforce what we think and feel about ourselves. Self-image is important because how we think about ourselves directly affects how we feel about ourselves and how we respond to life.

How we think and feel about ourselves influences the way we react or respond to life stressors. A hopeless self-image can lead to suicide. Self-image possessing body strength and health can lead to wellness. A loving self-image can lead to a life full of loving relationships. An angry self-image can lead to a life of isolation. A fearful self-image can lead to a life of suffering. In these ways, self-image can determine the quality of our relationships with others.

How we imagine ourselves to be can be different from how we witness ourselves to be, but ultimately the two will become the same if our desire to be as we imagine is unwavering. Depending on the beliefs we gather throughout our life, our self-image can bring us success and happiness, or, on the other hand, failure and misery. But this image can change, if we start questioning our beliefs about our selves and our lives. When our belief system falls apart, we are ready to receive a greater truth, and resurrect belief, born anew with possibility.

What do YOU think?

Trust Lost, Earned and Achieved

What is trust, and why is it important to us? We all know people who can't trust, who often expect things to go bad, ignore what they know, leap quickly into action without accessing the risk, and push others away. What can we do to develop trust?

"Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement."
- Golda Meir

Trusting yourself can be a matter of listening to your own inner voice as a source of wisdom and strength. We can do this as long as doubt and fear do not get in the way, with questions like: what if I am making a mistake? What was I thinking? Why would anyone listen to me? Developing self trust can take a great deal of patience and self-forgiveness. We first must learn to minimize our regrets and see our mistakes as opportunities. We need to rely on confidence instead of approval.

"Wise men put their trust in ideas and not in circumstances" Ralph Waldo Emerson

By advising us to trust the ideas of men, not the events in their lives, Emerson expresses his belief that history was biography. This is a form of trusting others outside of convention, namely, trusting in the ideas of men and how they shape our lives.

"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence." TS Eliot

Trust between people is the most widely studied form of trust. Stanford's Encyclopedia of Philosophy defines trust as: an attitude that we have towards people whom we hope will be trustworthy, where trustworthiness is a property, not an attitude. For trust to be warranted (i.e. plausible) in a relationship, the parties to that relationship must have attitudes toward one another that are conducive to trusting one another. Moreover, for trust to be warranted (i.e. well-grounded), both parties ought to be trustworthy.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." Mother Teresa

We see from this statement by Mother Teresa, that trust in something greater than ourselves, in a divine organization to life, or in God can work both ways. Having faith that everything will be alright, that tomorrow will come or that the Lord provides, are all examples of trust in creation.

What do YOU think?

Developing Generosity of Spirit

Have you ever been a victim of circumstance? Or do you get what's coming to you every single time?

"Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap," Galatians VI. It is said that this means that your thoughts and deeds, good or bad, will repay you in kind. What you give, you get back. The thoughts and feelings that occupy your mind, will attract circumstances to your life of the same quality.

Another example: You may love some people and dislike others. You are, therefore, sowing mixed seeds. Therefore, what you reap will be equally mixed, blessings and suffering. Can you see this law of cause and effect in your life? If you can find a way to see everyone in their highest potential, to see the good in all, would you reach the abundance in life that for many, represents heaven on earth? By seeing the good in all, would all good come your way?

Without question, the world can be an unfriendly and cold place to live. Encouraging others around us so that they can shine is a gift that we all can offer each other. In fact, is there really a better gift to extend? When we remember that it is more important to extend love than to be number one or front and center, we express our belief in the importance of being generous of spirit.

What do YOU think?

Artwork by Nancy Standlee. Many thanks.

Loving Our Pets and Other Creatures

Knowing who we are and our place in the world can involve more than understanding our relationships with other people. Animals, birds, fish and other creatures have always been known to bring peace and love into our lives. How do pets and other creatures give us an insight into our spiritual dynamic as we develop our relationships with them? What value do they bring into our lives?

According to Linda Kohanov, author of the Tao of Equus, and founder of Epona Equestrian Services, where people explore the potential of horse/human relationships: "Through a holistic approach to the equestrian arts, people explore assertiveness, stress reduction and emotional fitness skills, strengthening self-esteem and personal empowerment in the process. Consensus-building relationship models teach people how to take the reins of any situation without lapsing into the pitfalls of dominance, alienation, intimidation or victimization."

Anne Rudloe, Ph.D. is the Managing Director of Gulf Specimen Marine Laboratory where she has led its transformation into an award winning non-profit environmental center and public aquarium. Rudloe has made a career of exploring the sacred nature of the relationships between people and the creatures of the sea. According to Rudloe, in her book Butterflies and Sea Wind: "Our place in this life, our only place, is wherever we find ourselves in each instant. An effort is made and results arise. The energy will go where the energy needs to go. The only thing to do is live life without any resentment toward life and to pay attention to whatever teachers arise."

What do YOU think?

Artwork by Shirley Rappaport Many thanks.

Can We Love Unconditionally?

I have listened to many discussions over the years, about whether there can be true unconditional love. Is it something that can exist in relationship? Can people love each other unconditionally, and if so, what about the harm we do each other? Can love exist between people that has no conditions or boundaries at all?

Harold W. Becker, in his article Unconditional Love - An Unlimited Way of Being, describes the term like this: Simply stated, unconditional love is an unlimited way of being. We are without any limit to our thoughts and feelings in life and can create any reality we choose to focus our attention upon. There are infinite imaginative possibilities when we allow the freedom to go beyond our perceived limits. If we can dream it, we can build it. Life, through unconditional love, is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight.

What do YOU think?

Celebrate Thanksgiving with Gratitude

". . . the pang of affection & gratitude is the Gift of God for good. I am thankful that I feel it; it draws the soul towards Eternal life & conjunction with Spirits of just men made perfect by love & gratitude, the two angels who stand at heaven's gate ever open, ever inviting guests to the marriage. O foolish Philosophy! Gratitude is Heaven itself; there could be no heaven without Gratitude. I feel it & I know it. I thank God & Man for it . . ." William Blake

The United States of America is today celebrating Thanksgiving as the one day of the year that we are encouraged to look inward at all the blessings in our lives, and give thanks for what we appreciate. I think that as global consciousness emerges, the awareness of gratitude as a powerful attitude of spirit, that contributes to emotional integrity and happiness in life, occurs more and more. Sacred space is created by complete honesty, appreciation and psychological safety. Gratitude plays an important part in our unfolding, this day and every day.

The GO GRATITUDE experiment that began in 2005 offers a model for making gratitude a habit. As of 3/14/07, 972,343 people have watched the GoGratitude Flash movie and 178,539 people from all walks of life and from 153 countries have joined the Gratitude Experiment since its launch on Nov 21, 2005. A wave of gratitude sweeps the globe. How refreshing.

I would like to express gratitude for my friend, Chris Bernard, and his vision of love and support. Thanks too, to all my friends, readers and family that fill my life with light and love. So many thanks. Happy Thanksgiving.

Love and Self Discovery

Does love lead to self discovery? How?

Both light and shadow are the dance of Love.
Love has no cause;
It is the astrolabe of God's secrets.
Lover and Loving are
inseparable and timeless.
Although I may try to describe Love
When I experience it I am speechless.
Although I may try to write about Love
I am rendered helpless;
My pen breaks and the paper slips away
At the ineffable place where
Lover, Loving and Loved are one.
Every moment is made glorious
By the light of Love.
-Rumi -----

What do YOU think?